Bridal Bargain Hunting

If you are anything like I am, you likely appreciate the power of a coupon when keeping your wedding planning within budget.  There are plenty of ways to incorporate traditional coupons, Groupons, and an old-fashioned discount shopping into your planning that aren’t very time consuming.  A few examples that have jumped out at me early in the planning process are below.  I hope this is helpful. 

Since I recognize not everyone is wedding planning, let’s start with a pro tip for those just attending a lot of weddings this year: Almost everyone I know getting married in the foreseeable future has a Bed, Bath and Beyond registry.  BB&B accepts expired coupons, so instead of tossing their junk mail in the trash, stockpile those bad boys.  They’ll come in handy the next time you find yourself wandering in to purchase someone a knife block or a crystal vase.  (Save more money by shopping in person as opposed to online.  Online orders over $49 instantly get free shipping, but if you apply the online code for 20% off, depending on your gift's price point, that could cancel out the shipping deal.  The weight of your purchase will likely result in you paying more than you would have without the 20% off deal if you are getting heavy items, such as bedding and kitchenware sets.)

Stationary: Groupon regularly has deals on companies that create wedding stationary.  We got a great Groupon deal for EverMine invitations.  (Hint: If a deal can only be purchased once but doesn’t afford you enough invitations, your partner can create their own Groupon account and get the same deal.  That doesn’t break terms and conditions.)  Vistaprint may not be as fun to browse as websites like Wedding Paper Divas, but their Save the Date postcards can be every bit as beautiful and a lot more economical if you have nice photos to set as your background.  We lucked out and found them on Groupon, as well.  Start looking early because these deals seem to cycle in and out of availability.

If you are more sustainable, websites like The Knot can collect your guest RSVPs online for free and do not require you to pay for response cards or the stamps that go on them.  We considered this, but we thought it might not be a friendly option to the older guests in our crowd.

General retail: If you are going to shop for anything wedding related in person, regardless of whether it’s crafty things for your centerpiece or shoes that match your dress, do not go into a store without checking for online coupons on your smart phone.  Retail Me Not is typically first website that will come up.  For a good number of major retailers, it will populate a list of coupons that are good during that particular time.  Just be careful—some of them are codes for online use only.

Photo prints, gifts and guestbooks: If you create a Shutterfly account, they will regularly send you emails.  I’m generally opposed to this, but I’ve only had an account for a few months and I’ve already racked up on several deals that only required me to pay minimal shipping and handling. These have included things that could easily be incorporated into cute little gifts for wedding party members to say “thank you” along the way, such as photo magnets and customized stationary sets. In terms of bigger items, I’ve had several emails about free photo books, which can be used as guest books or used to show off those engagement photos.  While we’re on the subject, Shutterfly (and most of their competitors) will allow you a certain number of free photo prints after you sign up, which can be used to print some of those engagement pictures for your future home together or as a sweet present for your families.

Regular Sales: When my sister got married, part of my bridesmaid’s gift was a bottle of perfume from Victoria’s Secret that I used until it was gone.  As a bride-to-be that’s budget savvy and planning my own wedding party gifts, this made me remember that Victoria’s Secret, Bath and Body Works, and other stores have semi-annual sales where it would be easy to stock up on those kinds of items in advance for just a portion of their regular prices.  I’m not saying you should skimp on your wedding party.  They certainly deserve the pampering after putting in the work to help make your day memorable.  You just don't have to go broke doing it.  Even if someone doesn't like the spa at home thing, pretty much everyone likes to smell good.  

Bonus points for other educators in the house: A good number of major retailers have an educator discount, so when you’re shopping, make sure you ask!  Some stores with such discounts that could help you with wedding related items include Michael's craft store (decorations) and J Crew (wedding dresses).

If you’re curious about why I dropped J Crew in for dresses, a colleague of mine wore a white dress from J Crew for her elopement and was absolutely stunning.  I’ve been surprised by the major clothing retailers that have wedding lines—including Target, which has some gorgeous options for bridesmaid’s dresses under the Tevolio brand that won’t break the bank.

It’s the smaller things that are easier to bargain hunt.  Larger ticket items, such as your caterers, are a whole other ballpark.  If you are a reader that has tips, let me know—I’ll pay it forward by sharing them.

Engagement Excitement and Tips for Wedding Planning Sanity

I’ve been a negligent blogger.  Days after creating this site, my partner in crime proposed that we do life together.  Planning a wedding quickly became a time intensive priority.  Now that a good hunk of that has been taken care of, I’m back to our regularly scheduled programming and am excited to share some things that I think might make your life easier if you find yourself in the same boat.  After the Supreme Court decision last week made same-sex marriage legal nation-wide, I imagine those numbers will be jumping up—and I’m excited to celebrate that, too.

The good news: Engagement is a time to celebrate your love with all of those in your life that have helped support it and see it grow.  From the first phone call to tell your family or friends to the walk down the aisle, the memories you’ll make both with your partner and your larger support system are overwhelming in the best possible way.  You’ll grow closer to your partner and learn more about them on a wholly different level than you have before, because planning for a lifetime requires honesty and vulnerability.  You have an excuse to do things that normally might seem indulgent—like sample cake from every bakery in a drivable radius if you so choose and take an obnoxious amount of pictures where you do the sappy things you might normally tease other people for doing on Facebook.  During the engagement period, you get a free pass.  This is also a time to further explore who you are and what that means for your partnership.  If you live alone, this is likely the last time you’ll have this much space and time flying solo.  As an independent woman and an introvert, I’m using that opportunity to wrap my head around what I need to maintain in terms of autonomy while still learning to love selflessly.

The bad news: Because people want to support you and often do so by way of offering advice, people will project their own experiences and expectations onto you not realizing that the “one size fits all” mentality doesn’t work with things like weddings and marriage.  It’s often with good intention, but sometimes you have to learn what to take to heart and what to toss to the side.  Society at large also has a way of looming large over plans.  I think if you’re at all familiar with women’s television programming, Pinterest, or The Knot, you’ll likely know what I mean.  Those expectations can drain both your emotional resources and your bank account if you let them.  More on fighting that later.

My unsolicited advice for maintaining sanity, by way of anecdotes (take what you need, leave the rest):

Think about what grounds your union and share that with attendees.  If it’s spirituality, make sure that’s reflected in your ceremony.  If it’s something else, emphasize what that something is for you.  Mr. Banned-to-Be and I are from different faith traditions that both fall under the banner of Christianity and decided together to have a Catholic ceremony.  While I’m not Catholic, there are some things about our ceremony that we have still been able to really bond over.  For us, one of those things was the Prayers of the Faithful.  We chose to write a prayer that focuses on things we both believe in deeply—including hopes for a more equitable education system for our youth and improved race relations in our country via all of us learning to better love our neighbors of all identities.  A friend of mine that met her partner while studying environmental sociology recently had a ceremony where an emphasis on sustainability was weaved throughout from their diamond-free rings to the plants given as wedding gifts.  Your wedding is about your partnership, but your partnership is made up of the things you and your partner hold to be true and meaningful.

Cut costs by choosing not to spend money on the traditions that don't resonate with you.  Flowers are beautiful, but I prefer to see them outside instead of on my table.  As such, my bridesmaids and I aren’t carrying bouquets.  I’ll be carrying a book of poems I already had instead, playing off of the tradition of carrying prayer books or a Bible.  That’s easily hundreds of dollars chopped off the top.  If something doesn’t speak to you, don’t let your wallet yell at you because of it. Replace traditions that don’t feel right to you with things that you’ll remember later.

What is sacred to you is just business to someone else.  People have found ways to monetize your romance.  People you’ve never met will fill your head with grandiose ideas about your attire, fondue fountains, or whatever else it is that they may be selling that will distract from what's important.  It’s okay for you to shut them down at the pass.  At David’s Bridal, when my consultant began by trying to tell me about how brides could open up a credit line, I told her very firmly, “I appreciate you doing your job and telling me what you’ve been asked to tell me, but I do not wish to hear more because I will not be pursuing that as an option. I want to stick to something within a set budget.  As such, please do not show me any dresses over $x.00 amount of money.”  I have found that people will generally work with you and will tell you up front if you can’t, saving you the time and energy.  The same thing applies to friends and family. If you need shopping partners, give them a run down on what you will consider in advance and what your vision is so that they are on the same page.

Repurpose what you already have.  Mr. Banned-to-Be and I enjoy visiting wineries and learning more about different grapes and regions.  As such, we regularly find ourselves in possession of wine bottles and wine corks.  I’m using those to create our centerpieces and will only have to buy a few things to finish pulling off the look.

An open mind will save you money.  If you are wedded to the idea of things being just a certain way, pun intended, there’s less possibility to pench pennies.  (Not to imply that there’s anything bad about knowing what you want!)  I went to multiple bridal stores to find my wedding dress, which was fun until it was frustrating.  While running errands at the mall, I happened to pass a prom/evening gown store that was having a liquidation sale.  There was a white dress in the window.  It wasn’t my style, but it made me wonder if there was anything inside worth looking at.  Low and behold, I locked eyes across the room with the dress I’ll be wearing down the aisle.  It isn’t a conventional wedding dress, but it’s elegant and it fits my personality in a way that other dresses did not.  Bonus—it was also a lot less expensive.  Something similar happened with our wine.  While at a grocery store, we picked up a bottle of a wine we enjoy for an upcoming beach trip on a whim.  At the register, it rang up for only $3.00—less than half the regular cost of the wine.  We had the same thought—let’s go ransack the shelf for every bottle that they have. There was only enough for a little over a case because they had decided to not to carry the company anymore, but that was a case we didn’t have to worry about paying for full price later on. 

If you have any money or sanity-saving tips, I’d love to hear them!  Drop them here or tweet me @BannedBrooke!